Many Christians sin. A few are caught and humiliated.
Fewer find their way back to Christian fellowship and dignity.

Excerpts from an interview with Ted and Gayle Haggard from Charisma.

Pastor Ted Haggard, who was excommunicated from New Life Fellowship in Colorado Springs, Colorado, the church that he founded and pastored for 22 years, is slowly recovering from his personal and family crisis.

In 2006, Time Magazine had included Ted Haggard in their list of the 25 Most Influential Evangelicals in America. The Wall Street Journal called him one “of the nation’s most politically influential” clergy, and Harper’s Magazine stated that, “No pastor in America holds more sway over the political direction of evangelicalism than does Pastor Ted.” In addition to regular national media appearances, he was interviewed by both Tom Brokaw and Barbara Walters. As the president of the NAE, he met with governmental leaders including President George Bush, Prime Minister Tony Blair, and Israeli Prime Minister Sharon.

He is also the author of nine books and served as editorial advisor to Ministries Today Magazine, in which he wrote a regular column titled “Simply Put.”

In later 2006, Ted’s visits to a male prostitute came to light. There were allegations regarding drug abuse. Ted stood down from his office and was later excommunicated and prevented from contacting any of his church members.

After two years of silence and healing, Ted and Gayle emerged by speaking at Open Bible Fellowship in Morrison, IL and appearing on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Live, Good Morning America, and other national news programs in order to communicate repentance. HBO aired a documentary entitled “The Trials of Ted Haggard” documenting the difficult time the Haggard’s experienced following the crisis. As a result, Ted Haggard has emerged a stronger, wiser man with his family intact.

In a recent interview with Charima Magazine, Ted spoke about the pain of excommunication he went through when he was most in need of fellowship.

Ted: “My visit to hell on Earth as a consequence of my own actions was both devastating and eye-opening. It took a tree to fall on me, but I did get the point. As a result, my spiritual life is undoubtedly stronger now. I am becoming the man I always prayed to be in my heart and my actions.

“Becoming worse than a leper in the eyes of others has deeply humbled me, to say the least. But I am thankful because it has enabled me to experience Jesus relentlessly pursuing me. Knowing He came for the unrighteousness, and that He came after me and rescued me when I was helpless, is incredibly reassuring. In my new life, the Scriptures and the ministry of the Holy Spirit are more powerful, and my relationships with other believers are healthier because they are based on the righteousness of Christ in us rather than our own goodness.

“Exclusion from our friends was the most painful and disheartening part of the story after the crisis for me. I so regret that I allowed sin in my life, and I hate that I deeply dismayed others. Because of good counselors, recovering from my personal struggles has been relatively easy compared to dealing with being removed from fellowship. I willingly stepped down from my position as a leader because of my sin but did not realize at first that I would also be shunned as a member of the church even after I had repented of what I had been disciplined for.

“Some did try to reach out to me, and I didn’t always respond well. But I had been so marked as a person to be distrusted and avoided that it was difficult for communication to occur in a life-giving way. The cloud of suspicion that was generated about everything in my life effectively prohibited constructive relationships—not just with folks at New Life Church, but also with the rest of the body of Christ and even potential employers.

“I fell into deep despair, entered into the darkness of depression, and became suicidal after being separated from the body of believers that I loved so deeply and to whom I had devoted most of my adult life. My emotions swing back and forth about this to this day. Some days I’m angry at me, other days I’m just woefully sad.”

Pastor Ted is indeed fortunate to have his wife Gayle with him during the dark days of his life. Together, they sell life insurance for a living. Gayle too wished that she could enjoy the warmth of fellowship in her distress instead of being thrown out in the cold to face the storms alone.

Gayle: “Probably the most shocking and difficult part of this journey has been the separation from New Life Church, the church we founded and pastored for 22 years. I viewed the church as a family and felt deeply devoted to the people. I never dreamed I would be separated from the church when I faced my darkest hour.

“In my thinking, families pull together when facing difficulties, and that is how they heal their weak or wounded members. I believe it is a commitment to this process that leads to a strong, healthy family and a strong, healthy church that understands the gospel.

“To this day I want to honor the people of the church we once pastored with the choices I am making. I hope that one day they will say of me that I represented them and the body of Christ well in this process.”

Pastor Ted was placed under certain legal agreements as a part of the discipline that was imposed on him. He submitted to these although the agreements violated biblical principles. At his most vulnerable point, he realized how tyrannical people can be.

Ted: “As far as discipline from the church goes, it consisted of two legal contracts, one from the board of trustees of New Life Church and the other from the Overseers and Restorers. Gayle and I signed the contracts because we desired to submit, but we expressed our deep grief and biblical opposition to both the style and content of the contracts to the Overseers before signing them.

“In December of 2007, Gayle and I asked pastor Tommy Barnett to talk to the Overseers and Restorers to adjust their contract so we could move home to Colorado Springs. In January of 2008, they completely released their contract, which allowed us to move back home and to minister again. We waited six months before we moved home, and eleven months before publicly speaking in a church.

“My accountability to God, my wife and the body of Christ is ongoing, as it should be for all believers. Now that Gayle knows the worst about me, I am determined to keep our communication open, honest and constant. I meet regularly with a well-qualified counselor to help me identify my blind spots and to keep me moving forward in my healing process. I also have close friends, several of whom are pastors, with whom I maintain frequent, honest and open communication.”

Gayle: “ I was deeply dismayed by the lack of a relational commitment to us in the process. Legal agreements have their place, but they cannot be a substitute for biblical relationships that bring about true healing and restoration.

“Ted had served the body of Christ well in spite of his personal and private battles. Many of us benefited from his leadership and teaching. So when he went through his season of discipline from the Lord (which turned out to be a divine rescue), I was shocked at the level of scrutiny and judgment leveled at him that went far beyond what he was initially disciplined for.

“History was rewritten: Things that he was commended for before the crisis now became grounds for additional condemnation and judgment toward him. His life and ministry were so scrutinized that even what was innocent was viewed as suspicious.

“The misinformation and mischaracterization of Ted both publicly and privately was excruciatingly painful for us at a time when the contracts left us powerless to defend or represent ourselves. In addition, we were having to submit to a “restoration process” that had no hint of restoring us with the body of believers we had loved and been in relationship with for 22 years. There were a number of other aspects of the contracts that we think were very counter-productive to everyone—us, the people of New Life Church and the body of Christ—but our attempts to discuss these issues were mostly viewed as lack of submission, sadly.

“The paradox is that I believe God has used all of this to shape us and position us where He wants us, and this has been our journey in God. I am thankful to be where we are today and to have learned what we have learned. Our marriage and family are stronger, our close friendships are better grounded and healthier, and I believe we have a greater understanding and appreciation for the gospel as it relates to the human condition that we may not have otherwise gained. I thought we were happy and free before our crisis, but now we are much more so. Ted and I both feel God has answered prayers we had given up on.

From what they have gone through, do Ted and Gayle feel that the restoration and disciplinary process could be different from what was imposed on them?

Ted: “I don’t want to presume on those who had to make difficult decisions in the horrific environment that I created, nor do I want the speck in someone else’s eye to distract me from the plank in my own. But with what I know now, I would emphasize the function of the body of Christ, the family of God, and the fact that we are all built together in Him.

“I would also highlight Galatians 6:1, where Paul writes, “If any person is overtaken in misconduct or sin of any sort, you who are spiritual [who are responsive to and controlled by the Spirit] should set him right and restore and reinstate him, without any sense of superiority and with all gentleness, keeping an attentive eye on yourself, lest you should be tempted also” (The Amplified Bible). I would also highlight the many Scriptures that instruct us about the dangers and boundaries of our judgment toward one another. At the same time, I would teach and encourage actions of love, the fruit of forgiveness and practical assistance toward the weaker brethren.

“If the one I was working with were unrepentant, then 1 Corinthians 5 would need to be applied. If they then [repented], 2 Corinthians 2:6-7 would be applied as quickly as reasonable: “For such a one this censure by the majority [which he has received is] sufficient [punishment]. So [instead of further rebuke, now] you should rather turn and [graciously] forgive and comfort and encourage [him], to keep him from being overwhelmed by excessive sorrow and despair.”

“I think I would also have people exclusively working with the fallen leader and a different group serving the local church, if requested by the church. I would work to keep the church in the same theological, structural and philosophical stream that it had been in, out of respect for the members of the church.

“I would not let lawyers make core decisions. I would respect the pre-existing governing structure. Note, though, that I am guessing. I have learned much in this process and am sure I will keep learning, but I am already starting to receive calls from churches dealing with this dilemma. My counsel is hopefully more informed now than before my crisis.”

Gayle: “I wish the process had been more relational and that we would have been included in the discussions about us and the church and the resulting decisions. I think it would have led to greater understanding and more informed decisions.

“I also wish we had been given the opportunity to walk through a process of forgiveness and healing following Ted’s confession with the people who knew us and loved us.

“Most people do not know Ted’s amazing process through the last few years and have been left to form opinions based on misinformation and mischaracterization. I wish the way we were represented had been more accurate and better informed.

“I would have liked to have explained to the church my response to the crisis and why I made the decisions I did.”
 

This page is updated on Sep 08, 2009