“Our greatest glory
consists not in never falling, but in rising every time
we may fall,” wrote Goldsmith (1728-74) English novelist
and poet. Even the mighty come to grief and the
newspaper s always write about how the mighty have fallen
! What do we do when we have blundered badly filling our
waking existence with guilt and misery? What do we do
when we are terribly hurt by the misdeeds of other
people? We commit serious mistakes in our dealings with
others and our greatest fault is not to be aware of any.
One of the friends of Job (Job 25:4) asks him a
fundamental question: “How can one born of woman be
pure?” When we hurt others, we seek to justify ourselves
by blaming circumstances and other people. It is painful
to admit one’s mistakes. When others hurt us we either
retaliate or harbour resentments and bitterness against
them.
We burn within ourselves when we are not in a
position to retaliate. Such bitterness can poison us in
the inside, destroy our peace, reduce our mental
efficiency and disturb relationships with others.
Pernicious influences can corrupt the whole of one’s
nature (character) and make existence miserable.
Resentments can do more harm to the one who harbours
them than to his/her enemies. How to get out of such a
situation? The practice of confessing one’s sins
(euphemistically called faults) is intended to purify
oneself from the evil impact of hatred and resentments.
Dr Robert Reid, a pastor, lists five benefits of such
confession—a regular custom among Catholics. We overcome
relational barriers: Sinning against another not only
ruins the relationship, but also produces feelings of
resentment, suspicion and guilt within us towards
others. Transparency with others even admitting our
faults to them, builds trust and closer understanding.
We overcome fear of rejection: Shame over sin (only
experienced by those with tender conscience) makes us
reject ourselves and produces fear that God and others
have rejected us. Confession to God frees us from shame.
Confession to others confirms that His forgiveness and
acceptance are real. We need such encouragement s in our
lives. We overcome condemnation: Many believers live out
their lives feeling they are useless. They twirl in a
cycle of perpetual depression as they blame others for
their misery. The root of such a state is the feeling
that God has rejected them. Even agonizing prayers or
confession do not always free such a person. He needs to
admit his fears, feelings and guilt to a trustworthy
person, to gain assurance that God has truly forgiven
him. We overcome pride: Blame shifting is the most
subtle form of pride. While blaming upon circumstances
and real or imaginary deeds of others we are saying: “I
am perfect; he is to blame.” This kind of pride is
hideous before God and others, and will surely destroy
us. We overcome sickness: When we sin our conscience is
stained and our souls become sick. Sickness of the soul
and mind, as well as body are so closely related , that
they can not be ignored. How we feel about ourselves and
others also affects our physical feeling. Healing of
many afflictions comes as a result of confession of sin
and getting right with others.
For happiness, it is
indeed necessary that we have the right relationship
with God and fellowmen. We must love God. And any
unrighteousness and sin in our lives harms our
relationship with God. Likewise, resentments, anger and
hatred break human relationships causing sorrow and
pain. Open confession and reconciliation is the route
for wholeness. It is worth all the risks because it
promotes health and removes sickness from our body and
mind. We all pay a heavy price for the corrupting
influence of jealousy and anger. We must ask God to
flood our hearts with such love as to be able to love
even the unlovable. Loving fellow beings must be almost
a mission with us so that we may enjoy true peace and
contribute to the well being of society. So let it be
our aim not to allow bitterness to “take root” in our
lives. We have a duty to God and a duty to fellow
humans. “Make your heart good in the sight of the Lord;
and make your ways straight in the sight of men; so you
will find favour in the sight of the Lord and of men,”
wrote an old sage. Religion has this purpose as well. To
God a man must present a clean heart; to men, a man must
present an upright life. That is the “success” a
God-fearing man must aim at.
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