Basic elements of all love stories in real life may not have undergone any change but manifestation in this electronic age may have taken on many new forms. Technological advance, particularly the emergence of gadgets like the mobile phone, makes it unnecessary for lovers to pine because of long absence.

So also in the expression of love: from the melodious tunes of old, it is the rap or the rock that may be the rage now. It may not be a Shelley, Byron, a Wordsworth or a Keats, who set the tune, but the Beatles, the Rahmans and the like.

Be that as it may, what Emerson wrote of old about the emotion of love still holds good. Lovers delight in endearments, in avowals of love and in comparisons of their regards. If love-laden lines from poems of old came in handy in the past, today the youngsters flash SMS messages and enter chat sessions to drive away gloom.

And as of old they try and weigh their affection and adding up costly advantages, friends, opportunities, properties, exult in discovering that they are willing to stake all these and give as a ransom for the beloved.

The power of this love to create a new world of its own in the lover and the beloved is immense. When this love enters a heart, there arises a new power that makes all things anew; there is a dawn of poetry, music and art… “It is a fact often observed that men have written good verses under the inspiration of passion who can not write well under any other circumstances.” That is again Emerson.

“O, my luv is like a red, red rose\That’s newly sprung in June\O, my luv is like a melodie/ That’s sweetly played in tune” wrote Burns catching a glimpse of what every lover would sing of the object of his love. There may be nothing so sweet as life’s young dream.
 

But then young girls as well as boys who think love could be secure in the “externals” such as physical beauty, educational and social status, should be prepared for surprises in fortunes.
 

But then young girls as well as boys who think love could be secure in the “externals” such as physical beauty, educational and social status, should be prepared for surprises in fortunes. For instance, philosopher Pascal expects them to ponder: “If a man loves a woman for her beauty, does he love her? No; for the smallpox, which destroys her beauty without killing her, causes his love to cease. And if any one loves me for my judgement or my memory, does he really love me? No; for I can lose these qualities without ceasing to be.”

Some wellmeaning parents object to their young ones getting close to the opposite sex because of the fear of their getting involved in deeper relationships and making immature decisions of which they may regret later. The flesh may yield to temptations and passions may hinder a right judgement of the compatibility of two involved in a relationship. When things go wrong subsequently, it is too late to repent. And many teenage love affairs may end in failure and tragedy.

However, there seems to be more love marriages than arranged marriages these days. With increasing urbanisation and spread of education there is greater mingling of the sexes leading to marriages between persons of differing background. They transcend the barriers of caste, religion, language and even ethnicity. Do they all succeed? In the absence of data, one cannot hazard a guess. But in such marriages, there is a greater need for a spirit of adaptability and tolerance. All marriages undoubtedly call for a spirit of sacrifice.

When things go wrong subsequently, it is too late to repent.
And many teenage love affairs may end in failure and tragedy.
 

In the Indian tradition, the middle class place emphasis on chastity and faithfulness in marriage and the existing moral code attaches stigma to premarital sex, extramarital relationships and other types of deviations. The strong family ties could be another factor ensuring permanence of marriages. But as in the West, the growing materialism, the weakening of family ties and the weakening hold of religion on people’s lives portend threats to the stability of marriage.
 

Marital bliss cannot be taken for granted. The boy and the girl ''falling in love'' will have to look before they leap. There is the ancient saying that “all that glitters is not gold”. The choice of a life partner is serious business and can not be treated lightly, because marriage, has the potential to make or mar the rest of life. Especially for those who do not regard marriage merely as a social contract but as a lifelong sacred bond, much is at stake. Marriage is a life long union of one man and one woman that is sealed by vows of faithfulness made before God and in the presence of others. Any promiscuous behaviour that violates this cardinal principle would be damaging to marital happiness later. Even great men had made mistakes in the matter of choosing a life partner and had paid dearly for the same. It is said of Abraham Lincoln, the great American President that the great tragedy of his life was not his assassination, but his marriage. When Booth fired, Lincoln did not know what had hit him, but for 23 years he had reaped almost daily the “bitter harvest of conjugal infelicity,” according to one biographer.

The moral is that one should know to whom one is sending the Valentine Day greetings.

But man-woman relationship ordained by God calls for celebration. George Eliot puts it beautifully: “What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life – to strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent, unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting.”

This page is updated on February 21, 2009