Exam stress can be a big problem for some students, often resulting in a fear of failure that defeats them even before they put pen to paper.

The good news is that exam stress can be avoided and parents have the power to help their children get around it altogether.

Child psychologist Dr Marilyn Campbell says a little stress and anxiety can sometimes help motivate students to prepare for exams and perform at their best.

"You don't want to avoid it completely, but you don't want it to take over so it impairs exam preparation by procrastination and exam performance by freezing," Dr Campbell says.

So to avoid excessive worry and stress, parents should help their children prepare for exams and manage their physical and mental health.

Positive attitude
Dr Campbell says it's important for children to know that it's not the end of the world if they don't do well. She advises young people to adopt a positive attitude.

"Think positive, use affirmations, tell yourself you will give it your best shot," she says.

"Calm yourself before the exam by doing something that works for you - relaxation, going for a run, listening to music.

"Adequate exercise, healthy eating and regular sleep are also keys to staying in top shape for exams," she says.

Springwood High School Senior Guidance Officer Bronwyn Fossey says parents should prepare their children for testing times with simple organisation of their school commitments throughout the year.

She says the art of being organised should be taught when children are in junior school.

"I find that students get really stressed when assignments are due and by the time they realise, it's too late and they don't have time to do the work," Ms Fossey says.

"These are the students who are disorganised and the same students get stressed when it comes to exams as well."

Ms Fossey says students need to be shown how to organise and plan their school work throughout the year.

She says if they can show their parents what school work they have, what assignments are due and when, they can learn to plan and organise their time and she has a practical idea to make it work.

"Children will always understand planning ahead when they can see the plans in front of them," she says.

Monthly chart
"Parents can get students to draw up a monthly chart of their schedule, get them to colour-code their projects, show all their due dates for the month and put it up on a wall in their room where they and their parents can see it clearly."

Ms Fossey says those students who organise their work throughout the year are well prepared when it comes time for examinations too.

"It really is important to help students monitor their time. The ability to plan and organise doesn't come naturally, it has to be taught," she says.

As Deputy Director of Student Services at the Queensland University of Technology, Malcolm McKenzie spends much of his time advising young people about how to manage stress around exam time and suggests a range of practical techniques.

He says perceptions of how a student should perform can affect actual exam performance.

Mr McKenzie says the person who believes they are likely to perform poorly will often realise that expectation, even where they might otherwise have succeeded.

"The person who sets unrealistic expectations, seeking perfection, will inevitably fall short and the unrealistic demands placed on them will have created extra stress," he says.

"Don't set unrealistic expectations. Aim to do the best that is possible with the personal resources that are available at that time and accept the result that eventuates.

“Learn from the situation and seek to determine what might be done differently next time."

Toowoomba Catholic Education School counsellor Cathy Perkins says there are signs parents should watch out for that might indicate their child is overstressed.

Signs of stress

• Changes in behaviour
   

• Lots of negative self-talk (e.g. I am going to fail, I'll never get through all this study)
   

• Irritability
   

• Quick to get into arguments or get angry
   

• Cutting off from usual routine (e.g. friends, family, sport)
   

• Avoidance of study (e.g. might be excessive sleeping)

What parents can do

• Keep calm, and try not to get angry
   

• Help their child put exams into perspective - remind them of previous successes and other times they've got through exams
   

• If there is an older sibling or someone else close who has been through exams, get them to give some tips
   

• Ensure their child is taking time-out and doing something relaxing or enjoyable
   

• Help with time management and planning

More advice for parents

Remain Calm - Remember it’s not you, it’s them!! It’s perfectly normal for Parents to become anxious and worry for your kids in the lead upto exams - especially if it’s the first time a major exam, such as the Leaving or Junior Cert is ‘in the household’. The best way you can help your child is to remain calm yourself! It’s very important not to transfer any additional anxiety onto your kids. This can happen unintentionally, especially if you’ve had mixed experience of exams yourself. Don’t let your experience colour your expectations for your child. Many parents can feel like they are the ones doing the exams! Be calm and supportive.

Get out yourself & relax. Whilst it is important to be supportive and present for your child during this time, experience suggests that some ‘time out’ for parents is as important as it is for students.

Try to keep a normal household. Exams can bring stress that can have a ripple effect on everyone in the house. Being practical - keeping noise and distractions to a minimum during study time is very useful. Keeping regular sleep patterns is essential during this period.

Feed the Mind - Have plenty of healthy snacks in the fridge – fruit! Make sure everyone in the house starts the day on a good breakfast! Ideally a slow releasing energy cereal eg brown bread with an egg or porridge / muesli. Minimise high sugar snacks (chocolate, fizzy drinks) - have plenty of healthy alternatives. Provide alternatives to caffeine drinks – have decaffeinated alternatives on tap!! Also, if you don’t have them already, get a fish oil supplement to help your child’s concentration.

Be Supportive & offer unconditional love. Let your child know you are there for them unconditionally.

Look & Listen. Observe how your child is coping and managing their stress. If you notice they are behaving ‘out of character’ or seem to be finding the whole process difficult, ask how you can help them or suggest taking a walk, or have a bath to relax. Sometimes it is just enough for your child to talk things through with you, they may not be asking for directive actions. By listening and supporting your child you are helping them.

Keep perspective. Remember the Junior and/or Leaving Cert is not the Be All & End All. Your child is not defined by these results. There are many career options open to them and many avenues. Helping your child stay positive is part of your job – for this to happen – you too must be positive. Recognise the strengths and weaknesses of your child. Keep the encouragement going! Encourage. Encourage. Encourage.

Keep a steady pace. If your child is burning the midnight oil, there is a good chance they will run out of steam, become over tired or peak too soon. Encourage healthy sleeping patterns! We all perform better on a good night’s sleep. We retain more information and can recall 50% better if we have slept well. Your child is less likely to go blank or make comprehension mistakes too.